I was so pleased I could help. It just tickled my toes. As he got up, he said to me,“Teacher Carmen, you are so gifted.”
My heart just smiled because I know the true story behind the gift. And I can assure you, it is not a natural gift…but rather a harvest of obedience.
It was a difficult job. I felt so out of my league. I worried constantly I would not be able to do a good job for this wonderful school. I didn’t want to fail them. For 18 months I lived with headaches, backaches and many sleepless nights. I often complained to the Lord that this time I thought he had made a mistake. I was certainly Not qualified for this job. And trust me..it was NOT false humility…Sure, I had a few qualifications…but certainly not nearly enoughto do the job well.
But, there I was. You know, I am finally figuring some things out…. I am learning that the experiences God uses to the greatest effect are those He gives against my will.
Maybe we find ourselves on this swinging pendulum because we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe it isn’t always a question of “Is this my thing?” but rather “Is this God’s thing for me at this time and in this place? In His infinite wisdom, has He determined for me to do this … to be here?”
If we are truly listening and are honestly open, I believe that we will know the answer. And if the answer is yes, then we best just start doing it. Don’t’ analyze it, argue it, don’t get lost in the belief that it is forever.. Just do it… and do it well for as long as He leaves you there. God knows and he can manage all the variables of your life. (but that's another tesitmony)
And our Faithful Lord will weave it all together. And there will come a day when you will see the Harvest of your Obedience.
And believe me….it will just tickle your toes.